Saturday, March 24, 2012

Completely Nuts

Naturally, when I found chestnuts lying about my feet in the Treasury Gardens the other day, I stuffed my pockets with them. They did not appear on a tray like this, sadly, as if meant for me, Beggars can't be choosers but they CAN furnish their table with a little artiface!
I'm sure if the curious onlookers I glimpsed hadn't been so timid, they'd have joined me, scrambling in the grass, and they too could have found in their kitchen a plate like this...
Despite being close to the CBD, I heard no police whistles and assumed all was legal. I did not, of course, carry my pocket-knife into so public a place!
Chestnuts aren't all I've found in my quest for self-sufficiency, though I'm not sure if crab apples and the woody bits off old camellias are entirely edible...
What to do now, Chef? It's not everybody who has such up-to-date equipment, poor things. All you need is a little know-how and you can not only never go hungry again, but you can set yourself up with the most rewarding of outdoor dining experiences...
I think of all those poor fools, trapped inside with their take-aways and their artificial additives...
Take one shovel, one pronged instrument, and one spanking new barbecue...
Even Zara found it difficult to contain her excitement, and SHE'S normally a carnivore...
I HAD asked Elizabeth David to lunch, but there you go, meal-for-one instead!

16 comments:

  1. Hello Faisal:
    Why did you not give us a ring? We should have been over in a shot for roast chestnuts and, in the Northern Hemisphere, we have to wait quite a while yet to enjoy them!!!

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    1. You would have been eating HORSE chestnuts with me, Jane and Lance - one of those little errors I made that could have become a much bigger error if I'd eaten more than the little bit of very bitter chestnut I did!

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  2. We were on a ship coming into Lisbon. I said I smell chestnuts. My husband laughed. But they WERE selling roast chestnuts when we went ashore!

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    1. What a beautiful memory Diana, and what a very good sense of smell you have!

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  3. i remember picking up horse chestnuts as a child on my way to school, and keeping and polishing them. they were, i was told then, inedible, though i never tried them. i had sweet chestnuts once long ago and they were yummy.

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    1. If only I too had had SWEET chestnuts, Velma, I wouldn't now have a pile of forsaken lunch sitting on my compost heap!

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  4. Hmm, roast horse-chestnuts? Might well be on your own for that one, Mr F. Can't say I fancy the woody old camelia either - sorry, how ungrateful I am. Crab-apple jelly? Now you're talking! Dave

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    1. OF COURSE I knew they were HORSE chestnuts, Dave, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho. Should I stop foraging and just go into a shop for my next meal, do you think?

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  5. I love chestnuts Faisal! When I was young(er) in Greece they symbolized the begining of Fall... they were selling them in every street corner, grilled and in cones made of old newspapers...
    Very tasty : )


    Enjoy my friend!

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    1. It's only been in the last 20 years that chestnuts have become widely available here, Demie - though normally, of course, nobody attempts to eat HORSE chestnuts!

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  6. Chestnuts at this time of year? Oh, of course, you live in upside-down-land!

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  7. So that explains the dizzy spells, Friko...

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  8. what a successful outing, resulting in excellent foraging, evading the law, creating lovely still lifes and finishing it all off with a good healthy feed. I am a bit concerned about Zara, though, I wonder if she's having an identity crisis, forgetting she's supposed to be a carnivore. Bad luck about ED - i.e. her bad luck for missing out. (Are you sure she's still alive?)

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  9. Maybe, Catmint, Elizabeth David died ( she IS dead, by the way ) after ingesting HORSE-CHESTNUTS, as I did, in utter stupidity, not knowing there was the slightest difference between them and SWEET chestnuts. I'm afraid that in hindsight I'm little surprised no-one else was picking the "scrumptious" chestnuts up...I was SO excited, but then the dreadful bitter taste that warned me something was wrong - and it WASN'T my cooking - kind of undermined my cooking demonstration. Oh if only I was in Provence right now...

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  10. well, that subtle erudite connection completely escaped me - how extraordinary. So pleased you did not follow her ... and I don't mean to Provence!

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  11. Let's hope ED's memory lives on in future culinary efforts! (I hope she didn't die of food poisoning.)

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