Since July last year - that's over 9 months ago - I've been unemployed. I have been looking for work assiduously, in bookselling, which is my employment background, in gardening/horticulture, where my real interest is now, and anywhere else I may fit. And in the meantime I've been gardening at home more than ever, often starting at first light: the extensive gardens here need a great deal of repair.
What I want to say, is that I don't really want to go back to work. I am living on Government assistance, and the money I'm given is inadequate, but somehow I've been getting by. I kind of like making do, and in some ways, I even like the challenges of being poor. I am having to be resourceful and accepting.
I like that I can choose what I do each day - as much as alot of the work I do here is hard slog, and not creative - because my nature is such that I dislke being told what to do, and I dislike the power structures of the workplace. I feel that through going to work all those years I was simply co-opted into a system I had no real respect for, and made to do and be what didn't feel natural.
Where to now? My life, as it is, has significant restriction, but also significant freedom. I'll be fulfilling all obligations I have to find a normal job, but otherwise, I'm turning my back on all that goes on out there outside the garden. I don't really want to do anything else but follow this track through the garden I'm on, and see where I'm led.