It was a dark and mild night. Chief Inspector Miss Zara of the Garden Crime Unit had a hunch.
Or was it lunch? No, it was evening, and lunch had long passed. If anything, it was a kind of late-night snack, or sleuthing. There was Something out there down in the shrubbery thing you've sort of designed, Constable "Artist" Faisal, or so you so style yourself...
Hmm. Smells good. Or smells of old socks. Constable Faisal, PLEASE stand back! Your interference could mangle our investigation!
Some sheets, stuck across the shrubbery, some Pittosporum, some Euphorbia, a moon, up in the sky, some rather poor design statements...Chief Inspector Zara, which way did the wind blow, who's the culprit, where's the (uneaten) evidence?
In one of the many forgotten footnotes of Australasian gardening crime, the irrepressible Chief Inspector Zara reported the location of a clue east of the laundry and downwind of the hose, buried half-forgotten in the lush, emerald-ish grass...
her assistant, brow-beaten, exhausted, worn-out by kitchen-duties, lacking canine insight, lagging behind with rather out-of-date photographic equipment, stared out into the chicken-wire fence...
and had to agree, many times, that, yes, there WAS something out there, at 11 pm, when everyone else was asleep, though whether it was a sock blown off the clothesline, a bone of contention or a false alarm, he couldn't tell...
Whatever it was it made a great story!
ReplyDeleteWhatever it was, Roger, we've been hunting it down assiduously, the Chief Constable and I, and hope to come up with some sort of answer soon...
ReplyDeleteDear Faisal,
ReplyDeleteMy own dear departed amigo Hamish was a chief constable (West Highland Division) and led the force on many an investigation that came to nothing.
Mind you that sort of thing is nothing when you compare it to Henry the cat who would stare at you quite calmly and then gaze in terror over your shoulder, forcing you to check on any would be axe murderers lurking behind you! I am sure Henry often chuckled later as he recounted such exploits to his feline colleagues...
Kirk
Dear Kirk, I take it Hamish was a West Highland White Terrier, among the best-looking of dogs, feisty but mild, good chums. There is nothing like a dog to lead you on an adventure!
DeleteCats have an leaning towards the dramatic, when they're otherwise not sleeping, and they can certainly construe drama.
Of course, when loved, our pets gain by association with us, but they give something incalculable back to us, don't they?
They do indeed Faisal. Having a pet is something that I really miss. Hamish died a couple of months prior to our coming to Germany but he left us with many happy memories.
DeleteThat is the way things should be, Kirk!
DeleteHello Faisal:
ReplyDeleteAllo, allo, allo, now what do we 'ave 'ere?
Pittosporum...... Euphorbia......design statements......this is no ordinary garden.....
DNA will be all over the laundry......take it to the lab......
If there is an artist at work here we'll find him.....
We always get our man.....
We seek him here...we seek him there...we seek him everywhere.......has he gone down under...?!!!!
Hello Jane and Lance:
Delete'E 'as, 'e 'as gone down under, or gone to ground. You are the Hungarian Holmes and Watson? You have a magnifying glass, you have a fireside beside which you may ponder clues? You certainly have a doggy, whose wheels, if not whose nose, will keep him in a straight line.
Zara has been sniffing out the visiting foxes _ I have seen them slipping across the garden at night, and even caught one out mid-afternoon, as if there was no-one around whatsoever. She will tackle anything, my Inspector, or, at least has a look as if she will...
Oh there is nothing better than a good mystery. I stopped following our little Sherlock into the dark corners of the garden after looking up and seeing two beady possum eyes staring down at me. They are not all that charming. Love Zara's tale.
ReplyDeleteBonnie, we have possums too, which Zara's only just begun to notice. Great sport, in the middle of the night when we pop out for a refreshment break!
DeleteI'll have to check her CV to make sure she's done a course in Marsupial Diplomacy as part of her Chief Inspectoring Certificate.
Thankyou!
You should let Zara explore some more, it's her business to protect you from alien species in the garden!
ReplyDeleteWho am I to argue, Friko? Zara is a deft mistress of ingenuity...
ReplyDeletecreepy post, accompanied by imagined creepy music. Also very funny. If I am in need of a mystery investigator and Potter is not up to it ( highly likely, she tends to sleep at night), will Inspector Zara be available?
ReplyDeleteNaturally, Chief Inspector Zara is available 24/7. Unlike me, who dandles about on the bed at all hours and kind of looks into the breeze as if something was happening, the Indefatigable Zara only ever sniffs the breeze when An Event is unfolding and snatches the lightest of sleeps. Give us a call on the Wooferphone and tell that Potter to lift her game!
ReplyDeleteIn Potter's defence you may not be aware that she is an old lady, nearly 12, which I think makes her even older than me when you do the transposition. Anyway, she doesn't have dementia because she knows the Wooferphone number in case we need it.
Delete