Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Signing Up


It looks like I'm going to be doing volunteer work now, for a major heritage organisation.
Having been intermittently unemployed over the last several years, I've had to ask myself if my job - bookselling - or, if any job, were worth the dedication I've put into mine. 
I'm feeling that most of us spend the best part of our life locked into a routine that becomes increasingly meaningless. Too late, we find ourselves taking a short trip to a tropical isle before we face the remainder of our finity girdled by high blood pressure and cardiac malaise.
However poor I'm going to be, I would sooner be living until I can be quietly transubstantuated, rather than be dying by a force I hadn't reckoned with. It's not OK giving all of my life to an employer or an employment role and then finding myself cast aside with questions unanswered.
The signs are out there, as these were, along my bus trip. I am viable. I am not owned by anybody. It might look like I'm copping out, but by letting go of the notion of being a worldly success, I'm voluntarily accepting a destiny that will connect me to a greater purpose, beyond the moment. Fame, power and position aren't part of that.
I prefer to be finding the beautiful in the mundane. I prefer to belong to another world, not this here and now thing. I prefer up to down. And I prefer to believe I'm being guided, not that I'm being abused.

14 comments:

  1. Lovely post! Sounds like you are living in integrity!

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    1. Really, I've been forced to, Matthew, or at least,been forced to examine options. And although I'm volunteering myself, I feel my quality of life will improve.

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  2. My love & respect to you, dear Faisal. May your many talents blossom in liberty!

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    1. Always you're supportive Hannah. I don't know what talents might blossom, but they've got a better chance now. Thank you.

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  3. Having spent much of my life working in soulless corporations, I admire your decision. Do we really have the freedom to make this work, to survive in a way we want?

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    1. No, James, I don't believe people often get to choose the life they want. There are too many responsibilities, and perhaps insufficient encouragement in our sometimes merciless world. Myself, I've really been made to look at what I can do other than being employed in a normal way. So I'm no saint. I've also been obliged to admit to myself that being poor has advantages...chief among them perhaps being that I'm not kidding myself about who and what I am.

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    1. Haha - I feel you know where I'm coming from Paul.

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  5. I think you will do well on whatever path you walk. Volunteer work is most admirable.

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    1. Bonnie, thank you. I understand that many volunteers have a happier time doing what they do than many employees. I guess it's because they're not doing it for themselves - which seems to contradict much of the work ethic many of us grow up with.

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  6. what Hannah said! Reading between the lines I wish you better, happier times ahead.

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    1. Thank you indeed Diana. I've loved bookselling so much - it's felt like a calling to me. But maybe now I have a chance to explore and develop other parts of myself. There might even be some surprises!

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  7. Good for you, Faisal, you will be living a better life! It takes courage, which I'm sure you have, but the feeling of freedom will be so worth while. Nothing like being a volunteer to make you feel you are really giving of yourself. Best of luck!

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    1. Yes, Carol, there'll be a freedom which makes me feel that though I'll be helping others, I'll be gaining something intangible and good myself. I actually feel lucky that I'm entitled to do this.

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